the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
