Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize