Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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