i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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