The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
