WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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