Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
