Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Swine flu. Run for my life!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
