Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
