Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
How external is "for external use only"?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
