On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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