Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.

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  (310): you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday. http://tfl.nu/y9g2
  Replies (6) Good night (3566) Bad night (657)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does

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  (740): Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does http://tfl.nu/kyc4
  Replies (49) Good night (4642) Bad night (765)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm so glad i pay social security

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  (610): Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year? (1-610): I'm so glad i pay social security http://tfl.nu/rnv1
  Replies (17) Good night (4413) Bad night (1021)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.

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  (330): The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops. http://tfl.nu/2l9n
  Replies (11) Good night (4779) Bad night (1270)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy

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  (214): dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/o6xr
  Replies (14) Good night (1324) Bad night (3057)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed

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  (256): Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed http://tfl.nu/t8qm
  Replies (28) Good night (5391) Bad night (1478)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy

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  (785): Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy http://tfl.nu/oyu4
  Replies (10) Good night (2672) Bad night (1008)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on

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  (913): So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on http://tfl.nu/dyrr
  Replies (3) Good night (2504) Bad night (1208)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...

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  (502): I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it... http://tfl.nu/upfp
  Replies (14) Good night (1977) Bad night (1248)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER

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  (+44): HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER http://tfl.nu/mt7u
  Replies (5) Good night (1393) Bad night (495)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?

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  (850): Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date? http://tfl.nu/y6z1
  Replies (7) Good night (1086) Bad night (511)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.

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  (847): I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message. http://tfl.nu/fe15
  Replies (1) Good night (1319) Bad night (509)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick

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  (516): I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick http://tfl.nu/9fbv
  Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (326)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices

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  (505): I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices http://tfl.nu/5rdl
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (385)
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  (448): View more from

  sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth

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  (448): sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth http://tfl.nu/msat
  Replies (3) Good night (253) Bad night (533)

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