but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
