Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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