she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.