Texts From Last Night

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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

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  (662): Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God. http://tfl.nu/m55y
  Replies (34) Good night (4148) Bad night (2078)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.

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  (605): I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum. http://tfl.nu/8vy8
  Replies (13) Good night (5087) Bad night (987)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.

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  (306): My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday. http://tfl.nu/tgen
  Replies (2) Good night (2186) Bad night (2184)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.

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  (479): Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs. http://tfl.nu/zkx1
  Replies (13) Good night (3037) Bad night (2319)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?

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  (757): Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse. (1-757): I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic? http://tfl.nu/c2pk
  Replies (9) Good night (3269) Bad night (824)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many

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  (515): Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many http://tfl.nu/90pg
  Replies (2) Good night (1790) Bad night (612)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.

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  (615): After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland. http://tfl.nu/h2ls
  Replies (22) Good night (717) Bad night (2669)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.

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  (605): I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies. http://tfl.nu/al7b
  Replies (2) Good night (1972) Bad night (574)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"

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  (201): Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class" http://tfl.nu/e4eb
  Replies (2) Good night (849) Bad night (533)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment

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  (775): At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment http://tfl.nu/1isz
  Replies (5) Good night (919) Bad night (405)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?

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  (850): Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date? http://tfl.nu/y6z1
  Replies (7) Good night (1080) Bad night (499)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless

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  (570): U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless http://tfl.nu/wr07
  Replies (0) Good night (780) Bad night (386)
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  (716): View more from New York

  If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.

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  (716): If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship. http://tfl.nu/4ap0
  Replies (5) Good night (952) Bad night (377)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.

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  (334): He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird. http://tfl.nu/8c4b
  Replies (3) Good night (393) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Not very gracefully, that's how.

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  (519): How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night.. (1-519): Not very gracefully, that's how. http://tfl.nu/ljgm
  Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (243)

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