sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We talked him into tasing himself.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
