if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
