The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize