You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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