Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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