Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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