i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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