plz talk dirty to me
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
