New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize