I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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