What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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