Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
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Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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