just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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