I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Even my vagina gasped.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
