At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
