im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
