If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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