Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
