Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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