Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize