Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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