just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
