Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
