glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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