Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't deserve a penis
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
