Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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