some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
