Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize