i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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