I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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