You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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