plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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