dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
operation harelip BJ is a go
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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