the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
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I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
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Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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