So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
