Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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