am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize