Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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