it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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