This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize