i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
