So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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