her vagina looked like bernie madoff
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian