If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.