We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
