She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
