Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
